I seem to be going through a rough patch. It doesn't matter why. I mean, it does matter why, but for the purposes of this post it doesn't. Suffice it to say that it's not about the price of fish (which was quite a popular saying when I was young. I suspect it isn't anymore, but that doesn't matter either).
I am probably not tremendous fun to be around at present. I tend to do a lot of sitting and staring into space, alternated with bouts of running furiously to hard-core rap music. (And when I say 'furiously', I mean really, really slowly, and with tremendous pain. Also for no more than six minutes at a stretch, but considering I could only run about 90 seconds three weeks ago, I consider it progress.)
Much of my support system is temporarily out of action. Two of my besties are away and by god I miss them. And my parents go away tomorrow and I will miss them too. Happily there is such thing as email and Skype but it is not the same as coffee and phone calls. Or hugs. Hugs are good. I like hugs, too.
The other day on Facebook someone commented that I was a bit of a downer at the moment. She didn't mean to upset me; it was just an observation. She said it was a bit draining reading my posts. And yes, I suppose it is. I spent many years being riotously funny (or so someone told me. She was a friend of my mum's but I trust her opinion implicitly). Lately I have not felt so funny. And so I may be a bit of a downer. For that I am sorry.
But you know, such is life. We can't all be up all the time. And we can't all be down all the time. If there is one thing I have learned in this long, long life of mine (that sometimes feels super short; it just depends on the day) it is this: Everything passes. EVERYTHING passes.
Joy passes. Sadness passes. Fear passes. Worry passes. The only constant in life is everlasting, ceaseless change.
I will be funny again. This too shall pass. And then, no doubt, somewhere along the line I'll be a downer again. And that will pass eventually, too.
That is the truth. For me, for you, for everyone you know. Whatever you're feeling now will pass. So if it's hard, don't worry. Good times shall come again. And if it's good, hang on to it and enjoy every second. These are the moments to savour.
That doesn't mean you have to stick with me, or with anyone else who is a downer. Life is too short to be pulled down into someone else's quagmire of misery (and yes, I have waited four and a half years to use that word in a blog post. 'Quagmire'. Oh! It is a thing of beauty.) But if you do stick with me, or with whoever else in your life is going through a rough patch, know that it will pass, and that the happy times will come again.
And know that they - we - will appreciate you hanging in there till it does.
(And for the record, this is my favourite running song at the moment. This is the sanitised version. VERY sanitised. The actual song contains the lines 'Till the sweat runs down my balls'. It is so completely ridiculous it makes me laugh. EVERY TIME. No matter how down I am.)